Friday, December 29, 2006

How to Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and pointa Hair Dryer At Passing Cars to see if they Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They WantFries with That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone hasGotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For SmugglingDiamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With TheProphecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a seriousf ace.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropicalSounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend TheirParty Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, RockBottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot,Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are GoingTo Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity....... Send This List To Someone To Make Them Smile. Its Called therapy.


Amber said...

Ahahahahaha! That is what I was talking about at your house on Christmas Eve! One of the rooms in my residence tower had this printed out and taped to their door. It made me laugh so hard!

Jackie said...

I can hear Jayde saying, "What's wrong with singing along at the opera??"

Pat said...

So, this is abnormal??? We tend to operate like this anyway! (if you doubt it, question our recent houseguest!!) LOL