Thursday, January 18, 2007

A Chameleon!!!

Agustin training his employees on the New Menu

Who Is Agustin??
He told me he was a chameleon! LOL And I have to agree. I can understand why everyone wants to put Agustin in the "Mr. Steady" column. He has become that more and more. Jackie made a valid point. Once I learned what he needed in our marriage relationship; he relented somewhat in his "Command" position. Also, I am convinced that my health issues have caused him to take on lots of the "Mr. Steady" characteristics. But believe me, if you lived with him, you would see "Mr. Command". He is a very mannerly person and will allow others to make decisions. However, no matter what he gets involved with, he ends up leading the troops.

This discussion has caused me to form a new conclusion about the 3 types of men. Their individual personalities play into this so much! For instance, my friend Kim is married to an EXTROVERTED "Mr. Command Man". (We love you Mike!) I , on the other hand, am married to an INTROVERTED "Mr. Command Man". Nevertheless, when Kim is at my house and Mike calls to see where she is and what is for supper and where are the girls, do the girls have money, etc.; it is as though I am listening in on one of mine and Agustin's conversations. In the past I would get offended when Agustin would ask, "Well, did you give Josh money for his supper after the game?" Many times I would think, "What does he think I am? An imbecile or unfit mother?" Or He may call my cell phone, "Where are you? I thought you would be home by now with supper waiting." There are times even now he will announce before bed, "I'm off tomorrow and we are going to tear apart the garage and reorganize it." I may have other things going on but he doesn't ask. Now I realize its all just part of his make up and his need to feel in control. I have learned to simply not plan anything on his days off. I must be available for him. I'm not telling you this in a negative conotation. I simply want anyone reading this to realize that understanding how your mate operates and thinks can save a marriage. I owe so much to Debi Pearl. Her book has helped me tremendously! If it weren't scripturally based, I would not be able to sing its praises so strongly. I had learned to adapt my thinking toward Agustin's style of doing things. But after reading, "Created to be His Help Meet", it has been so much easier. My eyes were opened to a few things I had been overlooking or ignoring.

Now my dad, however, is a "Mr. Steady" all the way!!! Growing up, what mom did or said never seemed to be questioned. He didn't even seem to realize we needed money to eat dinner after a game. I'm sure he indeed DID realize it, but you never heard him voice any concerns. He knew my capable mom took care of all the details. He loved his times being home alone having peace and quiet, so it was a luxury for him to have my mom go off with her friends or to their houses, or to a ladie's conference. So you can imagine, what a surprise it was to me when once, early in my marriage, I simply told Agustin I was going to Golden Corral with Jan Demas. Boy was I read the Riot Act!! I went anyway and came back to a most miserable and cold house. Now however, I do know how to "appeal" to him with my ideas and make him feel they are his! (insert evil laugh here! Just Kidding!) Present day, things are good for us because he and I both have grown stronger in the Lord and in our relationship to each other.

Since this little game of mine started and I saw how everyone thought he was a "Mr. Steady", I got out the book yesterday and read it to him again as we drove into Tampa to the hospital. He listened to all 3 different types, then decided he is a "Mr. Command Man", but conceded he has lots of "Mr. Steady" in him too. I guess that is a wonderful thing! We should want to have the attributes of all 3 parts of God, which is what Mrs. Pearl based this whole "typing of men" on. Therefore, I am proud to say my husband is displaying a rather balanced picture of God. I guess he could work on the visionary part some!

Here is an excerpt from a fellow blogger. You can read the entire article on her blog. or click on the link on my right sidebar.

"That's why the Bible should be our main source of inspiration in our homemaking.......and I think that is why God wasn't as specific, in His word, as we would sometimes wish He would have been. He knew that being a helper or help-meet is going to look and be different for every man.(emphasis mine)

The best advice I have would be to really search the Bible, pray and ask for God's leading, and ask your husband how he would like you to spend your time. Ask him how he would prioritize your days. You might be surprised at how different your view of helping and your husband's view of helping might be."


Thanks for playing my little game! I had a blast!


Pat said...

Well, we did not know he was ALL encompassing---we just saw hints of those attributes!!

We know it takes alot to be that transparent, Pam!!

Great encouraging post for married women younger and more experienced, too!!

Jackie said...

Loved the post! Very deep, almost as deep as Ambers KJV one! :0)
All men have a stronger tendency in one area, and a little bit of the other two. No man is a perfect balance of all three except for Jesus! The mystery is solved, Agustin is "Mr. Command/Mr. Steady" Whew. Now I can go to sleep without racking my brain!

Jungle Mom said...

And maybe, Matt! He sounded pretty balanced ! But, i think what we are seeing is , MATURITY! Both in spiritula growth and in YEARS.

tupalup said...

That's funny.

Teresa said...

Amen to what Jungle Mom said. Neither Jr. nor I are the same people we were when we were married 22 years ago. We've grown spiritually and closer to one another, gets better all the time.

Kim said...

You are so right about the personalities playing into the 3 types. Mike chuckled when I read him the blog. And yes, it does take some understanding and spiritual maturity on our parts as the wife to know how to respond to a commamnd man. Requests are made and supplications; but not demands! I have tried to teach the girls to make supplications as if approaching a King. But then, that is how we approach our Heavenly Father.