Thursday, March 29, 2007

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

I just found these to be so hilarious. I hope you do as well! My favorite has to be number 8! Please let me know which are your favorites!

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
Little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....
But she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
Anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" She said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric Bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place
To sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
There was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late For the garbage?"
. The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
First name was Always.


12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"

Can't you just hear Mr. Skelton say all of these?
I love it.........these were the good old days
When humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........ Just clean
and simple fun

17 comments:

Jackie said...

#12 is my fave. Can you guess why? LOL.

Yekwana Man said...

I was going to say #12 was my favorite also. but I need it to be clear that it has absolutely no relation with the relation I have with my wife!!!!! Just other relations I have seen. you'll never guess

Haus Frau said...

All are so funny I can't choose just one. :oD Thank you for a good giggle this early in my morning. As a young girl I recall watching Red Skelton. He also has his version of the Pledge of Allegiance. It's not humorous, actually very poignant. Red Skelton was an amazing man.

I really appreciate your blog, Pam. The consistent reminder of 911 and who the enemy is...thank you.

Blessings...

marallyn ben moshe said...

hahahahaha...good to laugh...thanks for another great post

Pat said...

SOOO Funny!! I could have been up reading these as you posted!! Yes, I was sleepless in the W.C., also!! Guess Bro. McCracken imparted his energy to us!!LOL

BTW, this humor does start with a four letter word--L O V E!!

jennifer said...

I love number 7! Although all are very funny!

Teresa said...

These are all so funny. Well gang, I guess I'm back from the black hole. I now MUST build my own blog site, hope you all will visit.

Jungle Mom said...

WOOHOOO! Teresa is back!!! Junping for joy!!!

Pam, I love them all but number 12.... POFLOL!!

Susan said...

I think number 12 might accurately describe my husband's feelings! ;) These were cute. We have a DVD of Red Skelton and my kids even like it. Good humor is ageless, I guess!

Just Theresa said...

I liked number 7, reminds me of myself lol.

Just Theresa said...

Blaa, I meant number 5, not 7, I never put our car in the lake, but I love to shop lol

Jackie said...

I wonder what my mom meant by POFLOL? What does the P stand for exactly? Hmm... :)

Jungle Mom said...

Well, I meant Roflol but after you have a few more babies you might find out what the P stands for!

Mishel said...

VERY cute! I liked #4 because I can relate right now. We are remodeling and I honestly haven't seen my kitchen in a while! LOL

CONNIE'S THOUGHTS FROM THE HEART said...

We used to love Red Skelton. Yes, that was before hummor had to be vile or it can't be said. I like #7. Nice to visit. connie from Texas

CaraqueƱa said...

Love #3 and #8...I've been finding my way back for almost 17 years! Not that my husband has taken me anywhere...he's too nice. He probably just wishes! Hey, Rita, what IS poflol...whatever? I've had enough babies to have...oh, I think I know!

Kitty said...

These were really funny!! I was laughing and my husband came over to see why... uh oh, I didn't want him to see 11 or 12, though, because he might say I'm guilty of those!! :-)