DON'T TRY THESE AT HOME

Tis the season of colds and flu-bugs! I chuckled when I read the following list of things that folks used to think would help cure ya'! (List taken from Sunday's PARADE insert.)

DON'T TRY THESE AT HOME

1) Smearing goose grease on your chest and wrapping it with flannel

2) Rubbing the soles of your feet with tallow and turpentine, and holding them against a wood stove

3) Getting passed three times under a horse's belly

4) Having a fish skin tied to your feet

5) Cupping, followed by blood-letting
{I've seen this done to my husband in Mexico. The *cupper* will rub the *cuppee* with alcohol. Then light a match near it, rush a cup over that area. The cup sucks the skin up into it. Supposedly this cleanses the *cuppee* of toxins. This is done all over the *cuppee's* body. Fun to watch but I never participated as a *cuppee* because the *cupper* seemed to enjoy it too much!}

6) Going to sleep wearing a pair of cold, wet socks with a pair of thick, dry socks on top of them

7) Stuffing your nostrils with cut garlic cloves

*I've heard my dad talk of similar mountain cures. For instance, his mother would rub mustard on his chest and tie garlic around his neck when he was sick. Sometimes she would force him to eat an onion sandwich.*

8) Pressing a warm, peeled hard-boiled egg to your forehead

9) Eating snakeskin

OK, NOW LEAVE THE # OF YOUR FAVORITE CURE IN MY COMMENT SECTION.

I think my fave is #8!!!

The Name Game!

All of your different names...Try it with your name!



1. YOUR REAL NAME: Pamela Lea Riffe Rios
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus -izzle): Pamizzle
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME (favorite color and favorite animal): Red Dog
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, and current street): Lea Stone Arch
5 STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of
your first name, first 3 letters of Mom's maiden name): Riopabla
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): gold water
7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME (Mother's middle name and fathers middle
name): Lou Joseph
8. YOUR GOTH NAME (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Chance

Send this on to your friends (including the one who sent it to you) and see
what interesting names are created)!

The Best Put Down Line Ever!

For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure”. General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

Help Me Stomp Out the Liberal Media...

by voting on which doormat I should purchase!!

CHRIS????

or

Keith????

$50.00 For the Homeless

Taken from Patriot Humor:


I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be president some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were president what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."
Her parents beamed.

"Wow... what a worthy goal." I told her, "But you don't have to wait until you're president to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where homeless guys hang out, and you can give them the $50, you earned, to use toward food and a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

Crazy Around Here!

Just a quick post to let y'all know I'm still alive! It's been more hectic than normal for me lately. A few highlights would be:
Thursday - Made another batch of homemade laundry soap. I'm finding that I really am pleased with it and hubby even commented that he thinks his t-shirts are whiter!

You can find the recipe and more info about the detergent HERE!


Friday Night - Mom hosted Mary Kay class at my house.

QUESTION:*What do you do when you're all ready for guests, but no one as arrived yet?*

ANSWER:*YOU TAKE PHOTOS OF YOURSELVES AND GIGGLE!*

Saturday - noticed our air handler was making a strange, bumping noise!

Sunday - church

Monday - My dad turned 73-we celebrated by having him decide the menu for supper, then off to purchase the items to cook for him! I won't list what we ate here because his cardiologist would strangle us all! I'll just say dad decided he wanted all the country comfort foods his mama would always cook when he lived at home in the mountains of West Virginia. Dare I say-the menu included FRIED 'TATERS, pork chops biscuits, and more!? Oh we did add one healthy item: spinach! But it was bought at Boston Market-dad's favorite CREAMED spinach is found there! Oops-I sure hope his cardiologist doesn't read my blog!LOL Shane with my parents on dad's 73rd birthday.



Tuesday - Came home late after sleeping over at mom's and dad's.

Wednesday - Agustin was off-I didn't get anything on my agenda accomplished, but enjoyed some time at the park with him and Shane and a nice dinner.

Thursday - visit from a friend of mine who also brought her grandson over to visit Shane. Noticed the air handler was not only louder and shaking the entire house, but now a metal shrieking noise was accompanying the thumping! Agustin thinks it best to turn off the air conditioning. I scream and shout and run about! I call mom "We're headed your way for another sleep over!" (Remember, we live in Florida and it's not only in the 80's at midnight, but oh so MUGGY and HUMID! I don't like to participate in "Turn Air Off" scenarios!) Decided the humidity wasn't that bad outside, we could make it through the night with light P.J.s on and ceiling fans above us running. Slept rather comfortably.

Friday - Called the AC repair guy first thing this morning! He'll be here at 1:00 today! Yippee!

I'm sitting here in a puddle of sweat (sorry for the grossness) and can't wait to get away from this computer. I'm realizing how much heat it puts off.

**********Now for a little political humor!*********

In honor of the 44th President of the United States , Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: " Barocky Road ."


Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.


The cost is $100.00 per scoop.


When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you.
You are left with an empty wallet and no change, holding an empty cone with no hope of getting any ice cream.


Are you stimulated?

The Good Intentions of the Grandmother!

Why does my son's car smell of BEER!? Well, it could be due to the good intentions of the GRANDMOTHER!!! You see, the Grandmother decided to make the road trip with Josh on Tuesday from Florida to West Virginia. The Grandmother had several plastic zip-lock bags of "Amish Friendship Bread" starters stored in a plastic bucket in the back seat. That means, fermented flour, sugar, and milk! The Grandmother's good intentions were to bake, bake, bake many loaves of bread once she arrived at her sister's home. Well, the "starters" had a plan of their own! Late evening, after some time in "higher altitudes", Josh asked the Grandmother if she heard that strange noise coming from the back seat. She did! What she saw when she looked behind them was astonishing! The plastic zip-lock bags had expanded during the trip. (This reminds me of my first trip to Mexico. Details may show up in a separate post.) The white bread starter was oozing out of the zipped part of each bag and had popped the top off the plastic bucket the Grandmother had stored them in! The white "stuff" had even spilled out onto my son's backseat! The smell was obnoxiously strong! If any of you have ever participated in prepping and baking the Friendship Bread, then you know the mixture smells like "beer" after a few days of sitting out on your counter. (My friend Kim calls it "Happy Bread" because of the fermentation!) The Grandmother started yelling, "Josh, take the next exit! We've got to clean up a mess." He exited and they cleaned as well as they could with bottled water and paper towels which the Grandmother had brought along. They then had to drive with the car windows down, trying to air out the poor car. The next day, they were able to clean the upholstery better and the situation (smell) seems to now be under control; but oh, what a story, memory, and laugh the Grandmother and Josh have to share! The Grandmother told me she was worried that if they got pulled over for an infraction, the officer would ask if they were drinking and driving, due to the odor being so similar to that of beer!

I felt bad for the Grandmother when she told me this story over the phone last night. She had prepped and planned to bake this delicious bread and distribute it to her brother's and sister's while visiting them. At least her intentions were good. Readers, take heed! If you're going to travel from Florida to the mountains, please refrain from packing any fermented bread starter!

I've posted a few photos to show the special bond that has developed over the years between my son and my mom, better known in this post as 'THE GRANDMOTHER'!

The Grandmother and Josh at Tampa International Airport ready for their flight down to Venezuela to visit guess who? (Rita and crew) Notice the big, black and gray action packers? These were staple luggage for anyone stateside flying down to see my sister. They were usually full of peanut butter and jelly jars, school curriculum, and many ingredients for traditional American holidays. (Gravy mix packets, pumpkin pie filling, Stove Top dressing (Clint's preference). The Grandmother has also taken big items down to the kids, i.e. inflatable kayaks, solar panels, etc.

The Grandmother, with Tom, Kaden, and Bianca, at Josh's Sr. year homecoming basketball game and ceremony.

The Grandmother cheers Josh on at a baseball game. The Grandfather is there as well.

The Grandmother with Jayde and Josh at a Cathedral's concert in Orlando. (If you click to enlarge this photo, you can see that Josh is sick in this photo. His eyes were peaked and his lips red from fever. I remember Josh was a real trooper this night. He slept during most of the concert. Come to find out, he had a sore throat and fever that had developed during that afternoon ride to Orlando. )

The Grandmother was a fan who went to all of Josh's football games.

A visit from the Grandmother many years ago. (YES! They're seated on the toilet-lid closed of course! I must have taken this right after Joshy's bath time.)

Josh and the Grandmother on his sixth birthday. He was so happy to receive his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Skateboard! Also, in the photo is the Great-Grandmother Lula who is now in heaven.

NOW I JUST WISH I HAD A PHOTO OF THIS LATEST FERMENTATION INCIDENT TO ADD TO THE POST!

Doctor's Opinion Of The Financial Bail Out Package

The Allergists voted to scratch it, and the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve, and the Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception. The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. The Pathologists yelled, 'Over my dead body!' while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh grow up!' The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the Radiologists could see right through it, and the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, 'This puts a whole new face on the matter.' The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water. The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. In the end the Proctologists left the decision up to some butt-heads in Washington!

SHAKESPEAREAN INSULT

There’s no room for faith, truth, nor honesty in this bosom of thine.

It is all filled up with guts and midriff.
-Taken from: Henry IV, part I

IF YOU HAVE SONS, YOU HAVE LEARNED MANY THINGS

like...

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades,

they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft.. room..

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19..) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids..

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR BEING REAL!!!

After "being real" on my last post (showing my messy desk and office), I've now earned myself an assignment from none other than, DRUM ROLL PLEASE - dun, dun, dun,
Mighty Mom! She left the following comment for me!

"girl, you need a list of GOALS!! small ones. break it down to tiny tidbits so that you can get each one done in about 5-10 minutes. Don't try to tackle the whole desk at once or you'll never start!!let's see here.
Goal 1, decide where each shelf and pic will go on the wall, draw sketch of placement.
goal ,sweetly ask h ubby and son to hang in place.
goal 3, transfer dates, toss calendar
goal 4, put duct tape in it's proper place..on top of the TV, you must keep duct tape readily available AT ALL TIMES!! it can not get hidden on floor.
goal 5, "I'm a stickler on doing things right. If I don't have time to do it right, I prefer not to do it at all!" redefine "right" to mean "progress not perfection" --this will take some practice.
There, that's enough for this week. Next week we can see where we stand and come up with 5 more!"

Don't you just love that? I know I should set goals. I know I should take baby steps in accomplishing big projects, I know how to organize, but for some reason, reading Mighty Mom's comment made me want to get at it. I think I should hire her as my personal coach!!! Her comment also made me start thinking about all she carries on her shoulders as a mom to 3 precious kiddos, a wife to a veteran, a nurse, a crafter, and an amazing blogging friend to me! When I read of all the wonderful things she does with her children, I'm convinced "MIGHTY MOM" is the right title for her! I'm especially touched by the fact that she took time out of her busy life to leave me a detailed list. It really means alot!


I just popped over to her blog to get her correct URL. Lo and behold, if she hadn't posted about GOALS!!!

As of today, I have completed one item from the list of goals. See photo below to determine which goal has been met!


Another comment from Deborah led me to her post today to find some humorous encouragement. Check out her post about her desk! Love you Deb for making me chuckle today!

Each comment about my mess, er desk, was encouraging. I found out that I must have a long lost brother as well, who shares the Messy Desk gene with me!

HOW MANY OF YOU ARE WILLING TO POST A PHOTO OF YOUR DESK? This means you take the photo right away BEFORE touching a thing on it!!! I believe some of your desks probably are as neat as I wish mine to be, but according to all the comments on mine and Deb's posts about this desk thing, most of you have this messy desk thing in common with me! *smiles*

The Best Way to Pray

A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said. "No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven." "You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor. The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted. "The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought you would enjoy that! We know it isn't the position of our body that is important during prayer, but the "position" of our heart before God.

Now on a more serious note. Before publishing an email I received from a dear missionary friend serving in Guatemala, I asked for his permission. I didn't want to go public about his trip to Cuba if he thought it might jeapordize his ministry. Here is his response to that question.

Pam,
I try to not be too specific nor negative regarding my trips to the Island. I think that if you give general information and ask for prayer there wouldn't be any problem.Thanks for giving us more prayer coverage!
Bob
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Below is the original email I received from Bob.

June 20, 2008
Dear Partner in Ministry,

Two nights ago, around midnight, Manolo Padilla (my spiritual son, soul buddy and colleague in ministry of 28 years) had a severe heart attack. He is presently receiving care at the Heart Hospital of Arkansas. Next Monday afternoon, June 23, he will have open heart surgery and multiple bypasses. Mildred and Manolo are in the States for their "swearing in" as American citizens. They had just completed a ministry swing throughout the South where dozens of Hispanics came to Christ and many believers strengthened in their faith.Pray for a miraculous healing from above.

My trip to Cuba was filled with significant activity for His Kingdom. Thank you for praying. Entrance was more interesting than usual. Three officials questioned me for over an hour and finally allowed me to enter their country. Our heavenly Father stills holds the king's heart in His hand (Prov. 21:2)

Tammy's condition has stabilized. After recieving a pacemaker for her heart (there's already one in her stomach) the tumor, which is located close to her brain stem and a main artery, will be treated with radiation. Tammy says that her Heavenly Father is more precious to her every day.We count on your intercession before His Throne!
In His Grip,
Bob

Then in a later email, he had this to say:

Cuba... What a beautiful, yet dark, dark place. It constantly amazes me what the Cuban church can accomplish with so little resources and so many obstacles. Pray for Yaima, Yuyo, Yanelis and Gildita. Young people who have been waiting over 16 months for a visa from Guatemala in order to prepare themselves for ministry in their homeland.
Your fellow warrior for Christ,
Bob

Please add Ann and Bob to your prayer list. They are both professors in a large Bible college in Guatemala. As you can see from his email, their ministry extends well beyond the borders of Guatemala. Many lives are being touched and won for Christ!